Newspaper

“Feelings Still Raw”

Four years after the accident and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I remember that call, the call telling me that I’ll never see my husband alive again, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. Our story ended up in every newspaper around the area. John, my husband, would have loved that. He would have loved being a local celebrity. I only wish he was around to experience it. All the papers said he was a hero, which I always knew to begin with. He was always my hero. Four years, and I’m still struggling to figure out how to live without him.

John was a firefighter. He grew up wanting to be one, and right before we got married he became one. I always knew how dangerous the job was, just never wanted to think something would happen to him. He was a healthy, strong, young man. Totally invincible. Or so I thought. He managed to go eleven years without incident. Who knew his first incident would be his last.

We sat down for breakfast that morning and everything was fine. Then he got the call. I wish he would have ignored that call. He was off duty. He didn’t have to go. But John always took every call. There was an apartment complex on fire right around the corner. He went to help of course. It was what was supposed to be a normal job. Apparently they didn’t thoroughly check the building. A woman came running up to John that day. She ran a daycare in her apartment and all seven of the children were trapped inside. The building was so close to collapsing, everyone knew that. John had to save those kids though, and he did. He got every one of them out, he just didn’t make it out in time.

The apartments fell. Crashing down on my husband, the love of my life. All while I sat at home drinking my room temperature coffee, reading a book, wishing he’d hurry up so we could go furniture shopping like we had planned. About eleven is when the phone rang. “Mrs. Gray, there’s been an accident.” That’s all I needed to hear. Four years later and I still cringe every time the phone rings. Four years later and the feelings are so incredibly raw.